New pictures of Tanner Michael

My heart leaps every time I go out back :)

He multiplies and divides spreading his beauty.

At the end of the day he wilts slightly...tired

Thank you God for Your Beauty for ashes!

This is my favorite picture right now.  Roses (along with cardinals) remind me of Jesus.  The bright red symbolizing Jesus' blood shed for me, the thorns representing the crown of thorns that was mine to wear, but He chose to wear it instead in order to save me.  The way the rose is behind Tanner, I picture him sitting in Jesus lap, in the palm of His Hand, closer than I could ever imagine.  Thank You Jesus for your restoration in my heart and in my life. 

It's so cool to hear my oldest daughter Kinsey, as she told me just the other day that when she gets married, that she wants the Black Eyed Susan to be a part of her bouquet and that all the family will somehow have one, in honor of her brother Tanner.  Can I just tell you that there is immense freedom in sharing our deepest hurts?  To know that I don't have to look over my shoulder because I'm fully KNOWN?  Hallelujah!

Tanner Michael

I wait patiently for you every Summer.
Your beauty fills my backyard and my heart.
All who enter sense your presence with us.
I'm no longer afraid to speak of you, 
because you have stolen a piece of me forever.

My heart smiles as your sprouts come back every Spring
Grow taller, greener, buds emerging
You come back in places that you were never planted, 
but I don't mind
Your beauty reminds me that you are the child of my dreams now
not my biggest nightmare


I picture your face and can't wait til I meet you in the air one day.
Sandy brown hair with golden flecks of blonde, just like your sisters and brother
Strong baby-boy-man with the strength of your Daddy


Because of you, I get to tell daily HIS Story of complete love and grace towards me and your Daddy.  You are always part of me because you are part of God's Hand of grace extended to me.

I love you Tanner Michael
I honor your memory through the Black Eyed Susan
instead of trying to forget you ever existed
Mommy loves you
I'll see you soon