Evergreen

I had the most amazing experience over the last couple of weeks to travel with my man to Breckenridge, Colorado.  Any time I have the opportunity to see different ways that our Creator has crafted creation quite honestly makes me giddy with joy!  As we drove our rental car from Denver on I-70 west towards Breckenridge, I quickly realized that there would be a theme in what my heart would gravitate toward the entire time we were there.  Everywhere I looked, all I could see were evergreens.  Evergreens on the mountain.  Evergreens draped with snow.  Evergreens bending in the weight of Winter.  Every day I thought about the evergreens, took pictures of them, and asked God what He wanted to teach me through them.  I look forward to sharing with you in the next few posts what God has taught me.

I come from the South where the seasons are pronounced and plentiful in variety of trees that make bold statements with each change.  We have evergreens in the South, but if I'm honest, they weren't my favorite (except for the smell), until now.  God gave me a new perspective of Himself through the evergreens that will forever change how I look at them.

Evergreens are constant, just like God.  No matter what the season, they are constant and green.  They are hardy through the seasons and don't sway in the winter.  They continue to grow even under the weight of snow and cold.  In comparison to other trees that bloom, fill with leaves, lose leaves, and then are dormant through winter, the evergreen isn't. The evergreen is just like God...EVER present, EVER constant.  God doesn't tire of being God.  He just is.  When I look at other trees, oftentimes in the winter I am unable to figure out what kind of tree it is when it's leaves and fruit are not present, but with the evergreen you always know because for the most part, it's unchanging, just like our God.

Many suffer from seasonal depression in the
winter.  So many things appear dead in the winter.  The evergreen is an exception.  As we hiked, the evergreens were a shield and comfort from the howling winds of the cold, just like our God.  If I were alone, cold and needed shelter in the winter, I would take refuge under the comfort of a evergreen, not an oak.  The evergreen is a protector, just like Jesus.  It is vibrant with LIFE, just like Jesus.

I am thankful for the diversity of our God and how He is our constancy when seasons seem lonely, dark or even lifeless.  He is LIFE and life abundant.  So thankful for the evergreen, but most of all for Jesus.

Falling Grace

“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.

Amazing Love, now flowing down.

With Hands and Feet, that were nailed to the tree.

As grace flows down and covers me.”  (Christy Nockels)

I LOVE SNOW!  Yes, I am a teacher at heart, and even though I have not taught in almost 20 years, I get so excited to check the radar and watch for the chance that schools are closed.  When I was awakened, not once, but twice by the school system letting me know that my boy/man sleeping upstairs would have a snow day, my heart wasn’t annoyed, it was elated!

Something I love more about the snow are the lessons that Jesus teaches me through it.  For many years, I was addicted to shame.  I knew of grace for the sake of knowledge, but felt like there was a road block leading to grace that would penetrate my heart and transform me from the inside out.  As I began to heal from my shame addiction, I realized that I could have all the knowledge in the world about what grace is, but I had to begin to know WHO grace is.  Grace’s Name is Jesus.

As I look outside my full length window into my backyard, and watch grace fall down in the form of snow, it always makes me think of Jesus.  If I were to walk outside right now, every part of me would have snow falling on it.  The ground is completely covered.  No dirt is showing, grass is covered, driveway unrecognizable…heck, even the dog poop is concealed!  That’s WHO grace is and what grace does.  It covers, makes new, washes white, and makes who I was unrecognizable because He has made me a new creation.

Grace is not intrusive or forceful. The snow falling this morning has no sound to it.  Just like grace, snow falls quiet and serene almost like you wouldn’t know it was there unless you saw it and felt it.  Jesus will never force you to believe that His grace covers you or that His death and resurrection is enough to secure your standing with Him. 

I see grace everywhere.  It’s God’s reminder to me that He is ever present, He is for me, and He is cheering me on in whatever season I am in.  I see grace in the laughter of children, cardinal’s red with the blood of Jesus, music that sings in my heart every day, my changed life and heart, leaves that magically turn from green to fiery red and blazing yellow, a marriage that has not just survived but is thriving, forgiveness in action, sweet heart connection with people, the metamorphosis I see in lives changed by Jesus, the process of a baby growing in a momma, restoration in relationship, and hearts singing their guts out in worship.  I also see grace embodied in the simple, often overlooked things like a crock pot full of hot soup, little things that make the heart smile, my big comfy gray couch, candles flickering, Smart Wool socks warm, and the hum of a quiet and warm house. 

Grace is flowing down.  It’s flowing down on you.  Just as the snowflakes are too many to count and each flake has its own unique shape and size, Jesus’ grace for you is unique, too many to count, and all encompassing.  There is no “poop” on you that is not covered.  To Jesus, you are unrecognizable as who you were.  In His grace, you stand spotless, blameless, shameless, and pure like the snow that is falling outside.

So head outside, put your face to the sky and let His grace fall down on you!

Daggers

I live in the South, and as a teacher at heart, my heart skips a beat when we have a chance of snow in the winter.  Any chance makes me want to turn my pajamas inside out and do a snow dance before bed.  Sunday night was the best chance we've had all winter for a good snow.  Heck, they even named the storm so I'm thinking "YES, it's gonna happen this time!"  With each passing hour, the forecast changed and as I peeked with anticipation Monday morning for the beauty of the flake, I woke to freezing rain and sleet. Ughhhh!  

Eager to see the beauty of the day anyway (#1000gifts), I started looking and asking God what He wanted to show me through this day.  Staring out my kitchen window, looking for my Beloved Cardinal, my eyes captured this sight as the rain and sleet hitting the roof of my shed.  Icicles forming longer as I watched the water drip to the tip and then freeze immediately.  Each time I went back to look, I noticed the icicles getting longer and seemingly sharper.

As the day wore on, the visual I saw in the icicles greatly resembled a dagger or a sword, which sent my mind thinking about the most dangerous thought patterns that I can have that would actually take the form of a sword.

Anger>>resentment>>bitterness>>unforgiveness

The drip and freeze thing that the freezing rain was doing to make the icicles reminded me of how subtle our feelings, left undealt with or hidden, can change and fester and grow until they are unmanageable.

"Bitterness is a frozen form of hidden anger and resentment. Bitterness grows out of our refusal, to let go when someone or something is taken from us. Bitterness is being constantly hurt by a memory and is holding onto a hurt until it has a hold on you."

 "When you are offended or disappointed by others and allow the hurt to germinate in your heart, bitterness and resentment will take root. Bitterness is characterized by an unforgiving spirit and generally negative, critical attitudes. Bitterness and resentment are self-defeating. Perhaps it grows from the literal loss of a loved one or of a job, or income, or relationship. Sometimes it might be more subtle and grow from the loss of a reputation, or social position in a group, or control. Whatever the cause, bitterness grows out of unreleased loss."

I have seen in my own life the damage that has been caused in my heart and well being by letting anger continue to add layers of resentment which led to bitterness which left me with a poised dagger of unforgiveness.  The crazy thing that I found more than anything is the damage it did to my own heart.

Unforgiveness is the poison I drink and wish that the other will die.  It's the prison I'm in that I wish the other would be locked in with the key thrown away.  It's the slow growing dagger like the icicle that has layer upon layer that can eventually be used as a weapon.  

Ephesians 4:31-32New Living Translation (NLT)

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

I know that left to my own nature, I don't even have it in me to forgive, but the truth I have to proclaim and live by is the fact the Spirit of God lives in me and gives me all I need to not allow anger grow into a weapon that would be used to destroy others.

John 14:26The Message (MSG)

25-27 “I’m telling you these things while I’m still living with you. The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I’m leaving you well and whole. That’s my parting gift to you. Peace.

Thank you, my Savior, for being the perfect example of grace and forgiveness to me... 

As The Deer

"As the deer panteth for the water

so my soul longeth after Thee

You alone are my heart's desire

And I long to worship You.

You alone are my strength my shield

To You alone may my spirit yield...

You alone are my heart's desire and I long to worship You.

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. Psalm 42:1