Darkness

Making sense of madness...of things we don't understand is so hard.  Trying to look for the light in the darkness is almost an impossible task, but we keep searching, searching, looking for the light that will lead us out.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways," declares the LORD.  (Isaiah 55:8)

The Light is seen most clearly in darkness.  The rays streaming through, beckoning the way, guiding the feet to the Source of the light.  Jesus is the source of the Light.  He is Light, and "in Him there is no darkness at all" (1John 1:5)

The darkness is not Jesus.  He is Light.  He is the way out of the darkness.  He is the beacon that guides you to Him and takes you home.

"Arise, shine, for you light has come

and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.

See, darkness covers the earth and

thick darkness is over the peoples,

but the LORD rises upon you

and His glory appears over you.

Nations will come to your light

and kings to the brightness of your dawn."  (Isaiah 60:1-3)

Steadfast

Sunrise...

The picture of God's steadfast Love for us.

Sunday has become true Sabbath for me.  During my time with Him this morning in my warm bed with the sun streaming in through the window, my Bible, journal, pen, devotions, and my Itunes, He led me to a series of verses, and the word that God made jump off the pages was STEADFAST.

"O God, my heart is steadfast." (Psalm 108:1)

I love to look up the original meanings of words through Blue Letter Bible, and the meanings for steadfast are so much richer than the word itself.  

"to be firm, be stable, be established, be fixed, be secure"

"to lean, lay, support, rest upon"

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in You." (Isaiah 26:3)

The sunrise and the sunset remind me of the steadfast Spirit of our God.  Both are firm, stable, established, fixed, and we are able to lean and rest upon the fact that they will come up and go down each day like clock work (literally).

Sunset...The picture of God's steadfast Love for us.

No matter how unsteady life seems, insecure, not fixed, unstable, not supportive, unable to rely on or rest upon, our TRUE stability and security is found in the Person of Jesus Christ, our Savior.  He came in the chaos of our world to show that true rest can only be found in Him.

"He will not be afraid of evil tidings, his heart is steadfast, trusting the Lord.  His heart is upheld, he will not be afraid, until he looks with satisfaction on his adversaries."  (Psalm 112:7-8)

JOY

JOY

J...JESUS
O...ONLY
Y...YOU

YOU are what satisfies my longing soul; YOU fill my empty cup; YOU mend my broken heart; YOU shine your Light in dark places; YOU make my heart and mouth sing; YOU give me the ability to love; YOU give me the ability to forgive; YOU complete me; YOU compel me; YOU love me; YOU are my perfect example; YOU are my friend; YOU are my salvation; YOU set me FREE; YOU are my enough; YOU are my truth; YOU are my thanksgiving; YOU are my provider; YOU are my healer; YOU help me truly see;  YOU are beautiful, YOU are my life; YOU are my love; YOU are my shelter; YOU are my comfort; YOU are my refuge; YOU are my song, my melody; YOU are the only One for me; YOU are the only God for me.

Sun and Shadows

2011 has been a year of great change at the Bivins house.  Change is hard, no matter if you're ready for it or not, but I know that God has been at the forefront of all it, guiding, steering, and showing us the next steps to take.  The steps have been uncertain, wobbly, and often painful, but the joys, affirmation, and encouragement to move forward, equally as exhilarating.

This season has been a mixture of sun, clouds, and shadows.
There have been times in this journey that all I could see surrounding me were clouds.  You know those days when it's been raining, and the clouds just seem to linger and linger?  You know in your heart that the faithful sun (Son) is high above the clouds, but for this season, the clouds just have to cover?  Sometimes the clouds produce a cleansing rain, and one that readies the soil (soul) for new growth, fresh beauty, and new flowers.  Other times the clouds produce a storm with beating hail, torrential downpours, and damaging winds.  I have felt all of this from the clouds that have hovered in this season, but have constantly been reassured that the sun (Son) would eventually, in it's timing, part the clouds and reveal the glory and the splendor again.

(My sweet cardinal (Jesus) is chirping loudly outside as I type this...sweet affirmation)

As God settles us more and more into the calling that He has ordained, and the more my heart surrenders fully into the magnitude of what He has called, He has allowed the clouds to move on, to break apart, so that His bright light, that shows clearly the way, that warms the soul, that grows the seeds planted, can do what only it can do.

I am thanking God for the sun (Son)!  I know that for sustained growth, the clouds and the rain have to come again, but somehow know that the sun (Son) is above it all gives the strength and the stamina to walk forward in His confidence.

The Scapegoat

Leviticus 16:22  "The goat will carry on itself all their sins to a solitary place; and the man shall release it in the desert."

Leviticus 16 is all about instructions.  Life and death instructions...do this or die instructions.  Aaron had quite a bit of pressure on his shoulders as he, as the very first High Priest, dared to enter the Most Holy Place on behalf of himself and the people of Israel.  Any mishap of the order of things and he's a dead man.  The verse above is a bit confusing as it says "all their sins".  I found that later in the chapter in verse 34 that it's for "all their sins made once a year".

I can imagine the Day of Atonement being such a glorious, peaceful day, as for on that day, the slate is wiped completely clean... Nothing hanging over your head, but the next day starts a new year.  The slate that was yesterday clean, is now, without even 24 hours passing has new things written on it.  Just thinking about it and the guilt that it brings is exhausting to me.

THANK YOU, GOD FOR JESUS!!!!

For under the OLD System of Sacrifice
-was temporary (Heb. 8:13)
NEW
-is permanent (Heb. 7:21)

OLD-Aaron was the first high priest (Lev. 16:32)
NEW-Jesus is the only High Priest (Heb. 4:14)

OLD-ministered on earth (Heb. 8:4)
NEW-ministered in heaven (Heb. 8:1-2)

OLD-used the blood of animals (Lev. 16:15)
NEW-uses the blood of Christ (Heb. 10:5)

OLD-Required many sacrifices (Lev. 22:19)
NEW- Requires one sacrifice (Heb. 9:28)

OLD-Required careful approach to the tabernacle (Lev. 16:2)
NEW-Encourages confident approach to the throne (Heb. 4:16)

OLD-looked forward to a new system (Heb. 10:1)
NEW-sets aside the old system (Heb. 10:9)

I hope you will join me in thanking God for a sacrifice "once and for all" (Hebrews 10:10) in Jesus Christ our Savior?  Because of Jesus, my sin slate is FOREVER clean.  Jesus, thank you that you are the scapegoat for every sin I have ever committed, in the past, in the present, and in the future.  I love You with an inexplainable love.

Under His Wing

"He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection."  
(Psalm 91:4)

More like the Savior every day...

It's cool how this sweet baby, that just a few weeks ago only had a small resemblance to a cardinal, but his beak is now turning more orange, and his feathers are transforming into the red that the cardinal is designed to be.  I feel like this cardinal at times, where my life only has a small resemblance to the Savior and the gray of the world dominates my life.  But I am thankful that because of the sacrifice, once and for all (Romans 6:10) that when God looks at me and you who are in Christ, all He sees is Christ.

2Cr 3:18

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Reflect the Son

My absolute favorite part of this day was to get a text from a friend saying, "Whoa, look at the moon!"  God gave me a neat glimpse of it through the neighbor's trees.  I was freaking out, trying to get my settings on my camera right to take a decent picture of it.  There have been many times that I have missed pictures of a sunset, because it changes and moves so quickly.  I was able to take picture after picture of God's gorgeous creation.

The only way that the moon can shine any light, is through the reflection of the sun.  It's because the sun shines on the moon, that we can see it at all.  The only way our light will ever shine for Jesus is if He is shining His Light through us.  

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." (John 8:12)

I Am the Moon (Sara Groves)

"And I am the moon with no light of my own

But still you have made me to shine

And as I glow in this cold dark night

I know I'll never be a Light unless I turn my face to You.

No, I'll never be a Light unless I turn myself to You."

The Harvest Is Plentiful

This is the first year that I've been able to attract hummingbirds.  I have put out the same feeder year after year, and have even put enticing red sweet stuff in the feeder to lure them, but with no success.  Just this year, my mom brought me a new feeder, and within a day, the hummingbirds started coming.

Something that I quickly began to notice with these Hummingbirds is that they are very territorial.  It is rare to see more than one on the feeder at once, because as another comes, the other will chase it off.

There are like 8 feeding holes on this feeder, but yet only one, two at the most are ever on the feeder at one time.  That's my growing heart for the Body of Christ.  That we would be a people united for the Kingdom of Christ, pulling on the same rope in order that "no one would perish".  I know that is Christ's heart for us.

You are Complete

On a rainy afternoon about to sit down to finish my Bible Study, I hear my familiar beloved sound of the cardinal.  He sounds so close, so of course I get up to look for him.  I go to my kitchen to look in the Crepe Myrtle that I often see him lounging in, and there he is on my window sill.  To my surprise, it's not one that I expect to see this time of year.  It's a baby!!

I had just been studying in God's Word in Colossians 2:9-10 that we have been given all the "fullness of Christ" and that we are totally complete in Him.  When we receive Christ as our Savior we are given, according to 2Peter 1:3, "everything that we need for life in godliness".  That doesn't mean that we are totally mature in Him, but we can be confident, as said in Philippians 1:6 that Jesus will mature us, as He completes His work in us.

So...back to the cardinal.  By looking at him, if you aren't a cardinal lover like I am, there is nothing about his appearance that would let you know that he is one.  He has to mature and be made more complete as he grows.  Does that make him any less of a cardinal?  No.  His identity as a cardinal is secure.  No matter if he looks like a cardinal or even acts like one, his identity is still that he is a cardinal. As is our identity in Christ...many of our lives may look like this cardinal, but He is still completing His work in each of us.  As this cardinal grows and matures, his features will become who he's been created to be...but not without time and maturity.  Soon, the gorgeous red feathers and the vibrant orange beak will emerge, but not without a lot of growth.

We are all in process, being formed and transformed more into the likeness of the One who created us and loved us enough to save us.  You are COMPLETE in Jesus!

New pictures of Tanner Michael

My heart leaps every time I go out back :)

He multiplies and divides spreading his beauty.

At the end of the day he wilts slightly...tired

Thank you God for Your Beauty for ashes!

This is my favorite picture right now.  Roses (along with cardinals) remind me of Jesus.  The bright red symbolizing Jesus' blood shed for me, the thorns representing the crown of thorns that was mine to wear, but He chose to wear it instead in order to save me.  The way the rose is behind Tanner, I picture him sitting in Jesus lap, in the palm of His Hand, closer than I could ever imagine.  Thank You Jesus for your restoration in my heart and in my life. 

It's so cool to hear my oldest daughter Kinsey, as she told me just the other day that when she gets married, that she wants the Black Eyed Susan to be a part of her bouquet and that all the family will somehow have one, in honor of her brother Tanner.  Can I just tell you that there is immense freedom in sharing our deepest hurts?  To know that I don't have to look over my shoulder because I'm fully KNOWN?  Hallelujah!

How do you prepare for HEAT?

In Middle Tennessee over the past few days, we've been under a heat advisory.  As temperatures have peaked close to 100, people are clamoring for a cool place, and others are on the lookout for people who are in need of shelter and water.  For me, I have two choices: either be in a pool, which is like bath water, or be inside.  Even walks to get in and out of the car make me break out in a sweat.  

I don't have much luck with ferns, because by July, they are half dead because I've gotten tired of watering them.  This year has been different as I made a pact with myself that they live and look good!    I have impatiens that colorfully decorate the front of my house, but they NEED water.


So, during these 100 degree days, I tell myself, "I need to water my flowers every day, or the heat will kill 'em".  I've even changed my timer on my backyard flowers to water twice a day.


As I watered I began to think of my walk with Christ.  When I'm in a season of "heat", and things are coming at me from all sides, is my tendency to intensify my dose of "Living Water" so that the heat won't consume me, or do I whine and complain and neglect the very One who will sustain me through the heat?  If I'm honest, there are times where I live in that place where I try to rely on myself instead of my Jesus, who I know will give me all that I need to get me through the heat.


Something I've also seen from my flowers and also my own life is that when I am giving them extra drinks during heated times, they actually flourish and grow instead of wilt and fade!  The past 6 months for me has been an intense time of "heat", but also probably some of the greatest growth in Him that I can remember.  The heat can be very damaging, but it can also, if you allow it to, be the greatest drink of "Living Water".  


Don't resist the heat.  Embrace it.  But always make sure you prepare for it with extra drinks of Living Water.  He will never leave you thirsty.


John 7:38
Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”


John 4:10
Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”


Revelation 7:17
For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; ‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’ ‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.’ ”

Bloom Big!

People have certain expectations of how they want flowers to bloom.  If you go to the flower shop, most of the flowers look a certain way, with long slender stems and blooms bursting at the the top.  Not many people would be willing to buy flowers from a bush, because they just don't look like we expect.

You have planted them, and they have taken root; they grow and bear fruit. (Jeremiah 12:2)


I saw this tree with these blooms on it this Spring, and my heart just screamed with excitement!  Of all the blooms I saw this Spring, this one was my favorite, because it's not your ordinary bloom, it just bloomed wherever it could.  It's like this tree was screaming, "I can't bloom quick enough so I'm going to pour out of every orifice of my being!"  


Lord, let me be this kind of tree that blooms for You.  That every crack and crevice of my being blooms with the sweet aroma of Christ.  Lord, I may look different, but what is seen and felt and 
experienced through me, may it be beautiful like
You.  May I look and bloom so different in the world,
that it will stop, take notice, and be drawn to You.  
Amen


"For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing". (2 Corinthians 2:15)

Tanner Michael

I wait patiently for you every Summer.
Your beauty fills my backyard and my heart.
All who enter sense your presence with us.
I'm no longer afraid to speak of you, 
because you have stolen a piece of me forever.

My heart smiles as your sprouts come back every Spring
Grow taller, greener, buds emerging
You come back in places that you were never planted, 
but I don't mind
Your beauty reminds me that you are the child of my dreams now
not my biggest nightmare


I picture your face and can't wait til I meet you in the air one day.
Sandy brown hair with golden flecks of blonde, just like your sisters and brother
Strong baby-boy-man with the strength of your Daddy


Because of you, I get to tell daily HIS Story of complete love and grace towards me and your Daddy.  You are always part of me because you are part of God's Hand of grace extended to me.

I love you Tanner Michael
I honor your memory through the Black Eyed Susan
instead of trying to forget you ever existed
Mommy loves you
I'll see you soon

Magnificent God!

¹² But God made the earth by his power; 

   he founded the world by his wisdom 

   and stretched out the heavens by his understanding. 

¹³ When he thunders, the waters in the heavens roar;

he makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth. 

He sends lightning with the rain 

   and brings out the wind from his storehouses.

(Jeremiah 10:12-14)

As the thunderstorm woke me this morning, God reminded me of His Magnificence, His Greatness, His Power.  I continue to be in awe of the daily gall I have to try to be the "queen" of my own life.  Don't I know what's best for me?  Don't I know myself better than anyone else?  Uh, NO!!  Luke 12:7 plainly lets me know that "the very hairs of your head are all numbered."

I've heard it said that there is only One King, and He's not taking applications for His position, so as the thunder rumbles outside, the lightning lights up a greenish-yellow sky (are there any warnings out?), I am appreciating the Majesty of the One King who sits high upon One Throne.

Join me in being in crazy AWE of our Creator today.

Lord Jesus,  I admit that I try to take you off your throne at times and put myself there, as if I know what's best and right for me.  help me to know my rightful place before you, kneeled at your feet in adoration and trust.  You do know best, and You know me better than I know myself.  Thank you for loving me enough to create me, and to save me.  I love you Jesus. 

Amen

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, 

so are my ways higher than your ways 

and my thought than your thoughts."  (Isaiah 55:9)

Still or Rushing?

I took this picture at Evins Mill in Smithville last week as Mike and I were celebrating 22 years of marriage.  Yay GOD!  As I walked down these stairs to cross this water, my eyes were drawn to the contrasting sides...One side smooth as glass, and the other rushing violently out.  I'm tempted, most of the time to desire the smooth side, the one where all is buttoned up nice and neat and things are flowing and going just as "I" planned.  Life seems easier over there.  Safe, I'm finding, can be slow moving or stagnant...little growth...no new life pouring in...the water looks stuck.


The other side looks alive, fresh and something I would want to drink!  Yes, it's scary to get to the edge where you feel like you're losing control and you just have to leap over the edge and let the current take you.  But there's true LIFE on the side that is moving, rushing, seeking what's ahead, even though there's rocks and hazards to anticipate.


"...but the fountain of wisdom is a rushing stream."  (Proverbs 18:4)


"But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you."  (Philippians 2:17)

Dear Jesus, may I allow you to take me wherever You want us to go.  I don't want a safe life with You, I want the FULLEST life with You.  Amen

A New Thing

Maples are strange trees unlike any I've seen.  They hold onto their dead leaves right up until the moment that the new leaves come in.  They don't have blooms like other trees.  At the appropriate, God given time, they just let go and new leaves come.  It's kind of crazy to look at them right now when all the other trees are blooming with new growth.


As I've looked at this tree over the past months, I've thought, "God, what do you want to teach me through this tree?"  Looking and looking, God has shown me that many times in my journey with Him, I have chosen to cling to things, habits, and sin that suck the life out of me.


"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."  (Isaiah 43:19)


Do I cling to things that God is no longer working in, that are basically dead like the leaf on the Maple?  Why do I long for what's been, when there's new growth just waiting to push through?  It's probably the same reason that the Israelites started moaning and begging to go back to Egypt to be slaves again.  It's all they knew.  It stunk (is that even a word?) but at least they knew how to navigate it.


Lord, help me to allow you to do new things through me.  I don't want to cling to things are not "life bringing".  Just because it's known doesn't make it your very best for me.  I want to bloom for You.


In Jesus Life Giving Name,
Amen

Chasing Glory

The absolute brilliance of this sunset sent me chasing after it yesterday in my car.  I felt like some kind of crazed storm chaser as I raced down a side road, not really even paying attention to whether there was any oncoming traffic.  I had to get that perfect shot with no obstructions to block the Glory I wanted to behold.  I stopped right in the middle of the road and God allowed my eyes and my heart to breathe this in.  All I could do was sit in my car and clap for joy at the marvelous display my Father had created.  I felt like it was just for me.

"Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice."  (1Chronicles 16:10)


"Yours, LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, LORD, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all."  (1Chronicles 29:11)


“Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.”  (Isaiah 6:3)

Free or Just Plain Scared?

This tree is growing crazy.  As I was looking at it, I kept looking for a break of some sort or whether it had been blown down by wind, but it hadn't.  If you will follow the line of the tree, it starts to curve to the right, and then continues to grow along the ground...One trunk, no break.   I've been thinking about this tree for a week and praying as to what God wanted me to learn from it, and this doesn't happen much, but He gave me two lessons.

1) Be Free to be You...most trees are made and have a natural growth pattern to grow upward, stand tall, and reach toward the sky.  This tree is growing just as God intended.  It may look different, but it was still created by God and has purpose.  The same applies to each of our lives.  We have to be free to grow in the way God intended us to grow, even if we don't look like "everyone else".  

2)  Close to the ground is not always God's best...Looking at the tree also reminded me of lives that "play it safe" by staying close to the ground.  Growing tall takes us further from the safety of the ground.  It makes us vulnerable, and situations and circumstances don't seem as controlled the higher we get.  On this tree, we would probably feel safer to walk and play on it, because the possibility of getting hurt is less.  Climbing a taller tree definitely brings more risk of getting hurt, but the excitement and the view once you get to the top is worth it.

Tangled?

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us"  (Hebrews 12:1)


I have new glasses (ughh).  I've never had them before, and "some" people say that it's just a sign of age, but I'm choosing to be thankful that God has given me great sight for 44 years.  I have found that in getting used to my new glasses, my depth perception needs adjusting, so I have been tripping over things that I didn't know were there, and things that I knew were there but I thought I could navigate around.


Taking a picture of these "vines" as I would call them, reminded me of Hebrews 12:1 and how just like adjusting with my new glasses, sin seems to have a way of creeping up, tripping up, and entangling.  Many times, it just slithers in like a soundless snake, and before I know it, it has a death grip on me.


Awareness...God's Best...guarding against complacency...sticking close to the One who hacks away the vines of sin before they settle in, calcify, and choke out
the Work of God in me, so that I can finish that race set before me.

In His Hands

"The skies lay low where You are

On the earth You rest Your feet

Yet the hands that cradle the stars

Are the hands that bled for me"

(Aftermath-Hillsong)

(notice the Hands in the picture)

Ruler Over ALL

"You rule over the surging sea; when its waves mount up

You still them.

The heavens are yours, and yours also the earth;

You founded the world and all that is in it."

(Psalm 89:9,11-120)

Jesus...the calmer of our storms

Glory!

"His Glory covered the heavens

and His praise filled the earth

His splendor was like the sunrise;

rays flashed from His hand, 

where His power was hidden."

(Habakkuk 3:3-4)

Holding My World

And this is Your world, You made it
And all of creation is breathing because You sustain it
Jesus, by Your powerful word, You spoke out the earth and the heavens

So I will not worry or fret
My God is the God who will never forget
All of His goodness and all of His promises
He's holding my world in His hands

And these are your days, You give them
All for your fame and all for Your glorious kingdom
Jesus, You have ordained all things to dwell in Your purpose

So I will not worry or fret
My God is the God who will never forget
All of His goodness and all of His promises
He's holding my world in His hands

And I am Your child, Beloved
And all of my days my future is laid in Your promise
Jesus, to the end of the age, I am not alone of forgotten

So I will not worry or fret
My God is the God who will never forget
All of His goodness and all of His promises
He's holding my world

So I will not worry or fret
My God is the God who will never forget
All of His goodness and all of His promises
He's holding my world in His hands

Christian lyrics - HOLDING MY WORLD LYRICS - KRISTIAN STANFILL 

I Have All I Need

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

 ¹ The Lord is my shepherd;

     I have all that I need.

 ² He lets me rest in green meadows;

      he leads me beside peaceful streams.

    ³ He renews my strength.

   He guides me along right paths,

      bringing honor to his name.

 ⁴ Even when I walk

      through the darkest valley,^[a]

   I will not be afraid,

      for you are close beside me.

   Your rod and your staff

      protect and comfort me.

Notice the sheep...except for the one looking at the camera, all have their heads down.  They trust the Shepherd.  They are not looking around for danger saying, "Hey, do you see that?  Something's coming to harm us!  Watch out!  What was that sound?"  They trust the Shepherd.  They trust the Shepherd.

Jesus is our Shepherd.  He is watching.  Our job is just to remain with Him, in the close proximity of His Love and care, and let Him be our Shepherd.  He's trained, He's capable, He's loving, He wants the absolute best for us.  Remain...Remain...Remain

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love."  (John 15:9)